Last week I felt like my worlds came together in a surprising way.
In my former life, I was a ballet dancer. So my ears perked up in the Polarity bodywork class I was taking, when my teacher, Gary Strauss, mentioned the world-famous dancer and choreographer Luigi.
I grew up taking Luigi-style jazz classes but never knew his back story. It’s pretty remarkable.
Two months after arriving in Hollywood to pursue his dream, Luigi was in a near fatal car accident. He was paralyzed on one side of his body and doctors told him he’d never walk again.
While in a coma, he reported hearing an inner voice tell him: “Never stop moving kid, if you stop you’re dead.”
(I absolutely love that Luigi’s inner voice called him “kid.” What does your inner voice call you?)
So the first thing Luigi shows us is to listen to our inner voice. Hypnosis can be explained in many different ways, but I think the ability to listen to your inner voice is the #1 best thing about hypnosis and where transformation starts.
Back to Luigi. Dance he did: performing in An American in Paris, Singing in the Rain, and 28 other movies, eventually opening up his own school. At age 88, he still teaches daily classes.
But what was the one thing Luigi said that explains why making positive change is often hard?
And how can this new understanding help you transform your life in a powerful way?
If you keep doing things right long enough, they’ll get better right. But, if you keep doing things wrong long enough, they’ll feel right — wrong.” –Eugene Louis “Luigi” Faccuito
How does this apply to making changes in your own life?
So often we do things over and over–so much so that it feels right even if it’s wrong (e.g. think bad habits, addictions, negative thought patterns).
And when we make a change using hypnosis, it sometimes feels wrong, even if it’s right.
I’ve experienced this first hand in my own life many times, and I love hearing clients share similar experiences. After going for a few hypnosis sessions, I’ll start to do whatever negative habit or behavior I always used to do–and DON’T! It’s quite an interesting sensation.
The most dramatic example was my fear of public speaking. I got up to do a presentation, and instead of rushing through it, I took a deep breath, surveyed the room, took it all in and savored the moment. I felt like I was in the wrong body at first. I actually enjoyed giving the speech (and believe me, I used to feel like throwing up, so this was quite a dramatic change).
And one last famous Luigi saying:
“Put the good side into the bad side.’’
All the self-hypnosis techniques I show you are ways to put the good into the bad, allowing you to get better results, so you can transform.
What are ways you can do the right thing even if it doesn’t feel comfortable, or put the good into the bad? I’d love to hear your ideas!
The saying says it’s better to give, but I disagree.
Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin, and one is probably harder for you to do than the other.
Giving is a transfer of energy and takes you outside of yourself. According to Dr. Judith Orloff, giving causes stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol to decrease and endorphins to increase–for both the giver and the receiver. It doesn’t have to be a big present–watch for little chances to connect and be of service, e.g. calling a friend you haven’t talked to in a while, putting a few extra dollars in the tip jar at the coffee shop, etc.
How hard is it to accept a compliment, especially without giving one back (which dilutes and deflects it)? It’s often more common to be unable to truly receive.
There are a number of reasons why receiving is difficult. One factor is cultural conditioning; giving is generally viewed as praiseworthy. Receiving seems selfish, which has a lot of negative connotations for most of us.
How Reiki, Hypnosis, & Reflexology Can Help
Sometimes clients ask me what they should do during a session–if they should think of an affirmation or focus on their breathing, etc. But a Reiki, Hypnosis, or Reflexology session is truly the perfect time to do nothing and just receive. The session is much more effective the more you let go and and are open to receiving whatever you need in the moment.
And the self-help Hypnosis and Reflexology techniques I show you in your session, as well as learning to give yourself Reiki by taking a Reiki I class, are wonderful ways to give to yourself.
Receiving and giving are opposite energies that are inextricably linked, like inhaling and exhaling. Notice if you’re better at one than the other this week, and try to strike a balance.
Good question, right?
I had a new client tell me that the effects of hypnosis wear off. He was very matter-of-fact about it but it surprised me.
It surprised me mostly because I added hypnosis to my practice because I’ve found it so effective at helping people (including me!) make lasting positive changes. In fact, I told him I wouldn’t use it in my practice if it didn’t.
But he does bring up a good point.
Every now and then I’ll see a client who felt the effects of hypnosis work for a while, but then after a few months or so, it didn’t. For example, one client quit smoking for 6 months but then went back to it.
There’s a very good reason for this: secondary gain.
Secondary gain is a medical term that means a person has a hidden reason (often unconscious) for holding onto a negative behavior or condition.
An example: I had a client who came to me to quit smoking. She became a nonsmoker for 6 months and then went back to it. She thought the reason she started smoking again was because it was a way for her to relax, socialize with friends, and manage her stress. We did a hypnosis technique and she was surprised to realize smoking connected her to her mother who had passed away. Her mother had been a chain smoker for most her life and when my client smoked, she felt connected to her mother.
A good reason to smoke, right? (Though probably not something her mother would want for her daughter.)
Using hypnosis, the client came up with new ways to feel connected to her mom without needing to smoke. Happy ending: she’s been a nonsmoker going on 2 1/2 years.
Think of some behavior or condition you want to change. Come up with a list of 10 reasons to keep doing the negative behavior or staying in the negative condition. This will help you consciously think about possible secondary gains.
Need more guidance to find out what might be going on unconsciously? Book an appointment.
Recently a client came to me to help her overcome procrastination.
She felt like she should be chained to her desk every day being creative. (The image of being chained to your desk doesn’t exactly inspire creativity, does it?)
The day before her session, she went to the park in the middle of the day and felt extremely guilty about it. She didn’t realize it until we started talking, but while she was in the park she came up with a completely new idea to use in her work creating illustrations.
Now, I’m constantly inspired by my clients, but this time I immediately applied that inspiration to my own life. After her session I went to Madison Square Park during a short break between clients.
I felt guilty as well, but this time it gave me pause.
During Hypnosis she had an image of a bee as a symbol. The bee has the freedom to fly around and get sustenance to take back to the hive.
My client realized that like the bee, getting away from her desk actually helps her creativity and increases her work productivity. Because she has her own business she can take advantage of her flexible schedule (plus there’s many times when she’s working on weekends or late at night, well beyond the 9am-5pm hours of a job in an office. No need for guilt!)
And me? Well, a brassy squirrel petted me on the shoulder while I was sitting on a park bench. Maybe he was trying to tell me to relax and enjoy all the beautiful blooming flowers in the park.
I returned to my office with flowers in my hair (I didn’t realize that some little flowers blew in my hair while I was in the park!). I felt rejuvenated and happy. Having a positive mindset could only have benefited my next client, right?
What’s something you feel guilty about, but if you think about it, you know is good for you? Getting extra sleep, saying no, doing something to care of yourself…. this week, do one thing that you know is good for you and examine any accompanying guilt and let it go.
As always, I love hearing what you come up with, so let me know!